


True Love Is Violent

by JessicaStarscream



Series: Aftermath [2]
Category: Transformers: Prime, Transformers: Robots in Disguise (2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Forgiveness, Healing, Kissing, Knockout and Breakdown were conjunx, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Post-Betrayal, Sad, which is canon but just saying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 04:49:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13967664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JessicaStarscream/pseuds/JessicaStarscream
Summary: After Starscream falls, it's Knockout who has to take care of him. But after all the hardship and betrayal they've both gone through, the medic isn't quite sure how to feel, or what he wants to happen.





	True Love Is Violent

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Maknatuna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maknatuna/gifts).



> Sequel to Aftermath, requested by Maknatuna. Takes place after the events of RID15, after Starscream comes back, in the event that Knockout is the Autobot medic when they bring him in. 
> 
> I really tried to write this as fast as I could, but I was having so much trouble making it perfect. I really hope you like it- the ending is bittersweet, and up to interpretation what happens next.

It had been months since the big fight against the Predacons. Cybertron was restored, and the Autobots had taken control. Or at least they began to. There were many things happening with bots of all kinds, and Starscream had returned to wreak havoc on both the Autobots and on Megatron. This plot-unfortunately for him- resulted only in his defeat by Optimus Prime himself. Starscream had fallen just as quickly as he flew. 

Newly-appointed Autobot medic Knockout had only briefly heard about the tussle from Ratchet’s comm link. He had tried to ignore the heavy feelings that came with this newfound information, in the name of professionalism, and turning over a new leaf. The last time Knockout had seen Starscream, he was locking the decepticon seeker away in a cell for all that he’d done … or rather, all that he’d failed to. The medic had only assumed that Starscream was dead, and a part of him would have been more than okay with that.  
Breakdown would have forgiven him for that. 

But now, Starscream was alive as ever, lying comatose in an Autobot medbay.  
It was Knockout’s new job to check up on him- to tend to his wounds. 

The medbay was larger than the one on the Nemesis, and with better equipment, too. It had more medicinal supplies than it did things to cut people up with, Knockout noted. When he saw the comatose Starscream, he at first didn’t realize it was him. Instead of the sharp, silver-and-red traitor he was used to, Knockout saw a frame of red white and blue. It took a moment for the medic to realize that the same slender Starscream lay beneath the armour, which served as a sort of protective outer shell. Starscream clearly wanted to look tough, but lying there unconscious, he was anything but. 

In fact, Knockout thought he looked quite vulnerable.

For a while, the medic just stood and stared. This bot- this fragging glitch of a bot- was the same one who blamed Knockout for the terrorcon incident, who had shut him up without hesitation. And yet, this Starscream was too the only friend he’d had since the death of Breakdown, the only one who seemed to see him as more than a logistical plus. And when they’d kissed, Knockout could have sworn it was genuine. 

But that was the thing about Starscream: he was only genuine when it served him, the opportunistic scrapheap… Then again, Knockout remembered, it was Megatron who had taught the seeker everything he knew. And Knockout knew first hand the kind of wounds he could inflict. He was Starscream’s doctor after all, and he’d seen the pain, the primus-damned pain Starscream felt after every single beating. And everytime Starscream screwed up Knockout’s finish, or worse, he knew it was a sort of ode to Megatron- Starscream’s way of taking out all that hurt on someone he knew would take it. And messed up as that was, Knockout understood. Reluctantly, he began to fix Starscream, despite a desperate urge to leave him for dead. But that wouldn’t be a very Autobot thing to do. Piece by piece, bit by bit, Knockout welded up Starscream’s injuries.  
____________________________________________________________________________

 

When Starscream finally woke up, his mind was fuzzy. All around him were flashing lights, bots walking back and forth, the sounds of machines buzzing and clicking- 

Where was he? 

Last thing he remembered, he was plotting to exact revenge on his former master… Megatron.

Where in the name of the Allspark was Megatron? 

 

____________________________________________________________________________

Knockout tried to understand everything Starscream was saying, but he was just babbling on about Megatron, Optimus, ruling, and minicons. Clearly, the seeker had no idea where he was, or what he was talking about. He was on some kind of unconscious power trip, with no recollection of anything… There had been cases of bots in such a mental state who hadn’t recovered for weeks on end. Knockout wasn’t sure he could have put up with that, and he wasn’t sure if Starscream would recover as he used to. 

But as soon as the medic spoke, he knew it was all over. 

Starscream froze.

“Knockout,” he rasped, “Is that you?”. Knockout was scared to answer at first, as he didn’t know what sorts of things Starscream would say. But, Knockout realized, as the seeker was strapped down to the medical table, it was worth the risk. Turning to bolt was always an option.  
“You were put into a coma by Optimus Prime,” Knockout said finally, “It’d probably be best if you rested up”.  
Starscream tried to move but was held back by the shackles. Oddly enough, Knockout noted, instead of getting angrier like he usually would have, Starscream simply retreated back into a stable sleep. No words, nothing more. He looked depressed, fearful almost. It was in that moment that Knockout realizes Starscream was just as afraid as he was.

Hours later, the medic found himself torn. He had no moral cause, despite the Autobots being a solid temporary home. His conjunx was dead, and would never, ever come back. And now all Knockout had was a full medbay, and a slowly deteriorating Starscream. It that wasn’t hell, he didn’t know what was. 

____________________________________________________________________________

 

Meanwhile, Starscream was fast asleep. Somewhere in his dreamscape- similar to the one Megatron suffered through during his comatose state- Shockwave was berating him for “how illogical his plans for power” were, and Megatron threatened to beat him to the ground as usual. By then, Starscream almost expected termination. Moments later, the Autobot Arcee vowed bitterly to get her vengeance on him for all he did to Cliffjumper. Starscream couldn’t bear it anymore, firing endless missiles at these apparitions until they finally went away.  
“Get out of my head,” he shrieked, “I do not have time for this! I have to- I have to-!”  
Suddenly, one final apparition appeared, and Starscream felt his spark sink: It was Knockout, in all his shiny red glory, and holding the immobilizer tight in servo.  
“Whoa there, Starscream,” he slinked, “Where do you have to go? Weren’t you the one who created the terrorcon zombies? And who was it again, that you blamed for it?”  
Starscream shuddered.  
“No, Knockout it’s not like that I-”  
“Oh please, Starscream. You have an eternity to make up for what you did to me! And to everyone else, for that matter! And to think I once found you redeemable... “  
“I was merely trying to avoid the wrath of Lord Megatron!”  
“By what? Putting it onto me? ‘The only one you’d given yourself to since before the fall of Cybertron’? Isn’t that what you said?”  
“No… no Knockout please…”  
“Sayonara, Screamy.”  
With that, the immobilizer hit hard against Starscream’s head, just as it had before. 

____________________________________________________________________________

But Starscream had a memory: It had been about two weeks after Starscream had pried about Knockout’s near-death confession, and the events that had followed. Neither of them had really spoken since, as responsibilities had begun piling up. But right then, Megatron was busy with something or another, and so Starscream- entirely worn down- sent out a commlink to his medic.  
“My quarters. Urgent.”  
When Knockout received the message, he nearly panicked. Starscream would certainly never call like this unless he was injured or plotting or-  
“Starscream?” he said, entering, “Are you oka-”  
Suddenly, the seeker’s lips were on his is a desperate kiss, and the door shut behind him. Knockout had never been more surprised.  
“I’m fine, doctor. I only wished to see you. Urgent medical reasons, of course.”  
Knockout smiled.  
“I see. So, where does it hurt the most?”  
Starscream’s wings fluttered.  
“Oh, everywhere. I’m sure you know what to do.”

If only things had stayed that way forever. 

____________________________________________________________________________

 

The next day, Knockout came back into the med bay to perform a few routine medical checks on Starscream. He immediately noted the seeker’s newfound consciousness, but could not bring himself to say anything about it. Perhaps it would come out all wrong.

 

Despite the medic’s attempts to be casual, Starscream noticed his uncharacteristic silence, and couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty. He realized how alone Knockout must have felt- no conjunx, no real cause- but decided it was best not to say anything. Starscream knew what it felt like to be at the bottom of the barrel. It was devastating. 

Knockout however, noticed every subtle shift in Starscream’s body as he lay there, restless. Every wing twitch, every pained expression. Even through the ridiculous armour, Knockout could see the rise and fall of Starscream’s slender frame. And Starscream just lay there, and said nothing- and Knockout felt his spark sink.  
“It’ll take a while for you to fully heal” he snapped finally, “If you’re lucky.”  
Once again, Starscream was uncharacteristically silent. 

Later, that night, Knockout was torn. Pacing around the base, he just couldn’t seem to come to any solid conclusion. Seeing Starscream again, laying on his medbay like that, like old times- it was too much. There was nothing really to do.  
Suddenly, his moment of reflection was cut short by a slender splash of blue.  
“Hey Knockout. You okay?”  
It was Arcee, her eyes wide with concern. For a moment, Knockout was silent. Was he okay? To tell the truth, no one had really asked him that question since Breakdown died.  
“Oh, well uh… Funny you should ask.”  
Arcee sighed.  
“Is it about Starscream? Is he being fussy and pathetic?”

Knockout let out a small laugh at that.  
“No, no. Well, a bit. Ugh.”  
“It’s hard seeing him again, isn’t it?”  
Silence.  
“He wasn’t just rude,” Knockout admitted finally, “He wasn’t just traitorous. There was more between me and Starscream than you know.”  
Arcee was listening intently. Nobody had ever listened to Knockout before- since Breakdown.  
“Do you want to talk about it?” she said.  
“I don’t see why not. You deserve to know the truth.”  
“Yes?”  
“Starscream… well… he was more than just a patient or conspirator,” he says, “Starscream and I- were more than members of a cause. There were… encounters. “  
Arcee’s eyes widened in surprise, but she nodded in understanding.  
“And what happened?”  
“I must admit, I felt like there was something there,” Knockout said. “But, it would seem, that wasn't’t the case. So I moved on. Got over it. Did what I felt was the best.”  
“And now he’s back?”  
“Now he’s back.”  
The look on the blue Autobot’s face was one of pure empathy.  
“I know what it’s like to lose someone,” she said, “And Knockout, I don’t think anything you did was wrong. I suppose my advice isn’t the best. But what to do next is up to you”.  
The medic smiled.  
“I suppose it is.”

 

____________________________________________________________________________

 

The next day, Starscream was restless. He was just beginning on his path to healing, but being him, couldn’t help but wish desperately for something new to happen, for him to get back on the path of ascent to power. When Knockout finally returned to the medbay for another check, Starscream was ready to complain.  
“Do you think I’ll be out of these impertinent shackles by the end of this week, doctor? They are absolutely tiring.”  
Knockout rolled his optics.  
“Not this week, Starscream. You need to heal.”  
“Right, of course... Healing.”  
While the medic could have easily left in that very moment, he knew nothing would ever change if he kept it up the way things were going.  
“You know that new frame job really doesn’t suit you,” he said, “White, blue- really not your colors.”  
Starscream nearly jumped out of his frame.  
“Tell me where asked, traitor! Last I remember, you were fine slashing my own finish up with the immobilizer. Remember that fun incident?”  
Oh no he didn’t.  
“Oh right, right after you yelled at me to stuff it so everything would go according to your plan? After oh I don’t know, years of you judging me? Blaming me for scrap you’d done so Megatron would pound my frame instead of yours? Ruining my finish just to spite me? What a fearless decepticon leader!”  
Starscream laughed maniacally.  
“Of course you complain about your finish! You’re every bit as vain as I remember, doctor. ”  
“And you’re just as doltheaded. I am talking about how you hurt me, Starscream!”  
“How I hurt you? Says the Autobot who turned and left when the time was right? After… everything we’d been through?”  
“Ah yes. Everything we’ve been through… which, as I remember, consisted solely of you blaming me for all your misdemeanors all to stay out of Megatron’s way!”  
“I came here to destroy Megatron. And I do not care if a lowlife medic like you is going to try and stop me from doing it!”  
“Oh, and look how that worked out with Silas, huh? See where revenge got us? I joined the winning team for a reason, for Primus’ sake!”

There was a moment of silence, and Knockout could see real pain in the seeker’s eyes. 

“I’ll have you know, Knockout,” he rasped, “That there were many times I wished you were here. More times than I would like to admit. I am alone. All I have is Megatron’s cursed voice inside my head”  
That hit Knockout hard.  
“Starscream I-”  
“All I wished was to be leader of the decepticons, leader of a new empire. But now I’m scrapped. I’m ruined. It’s over.”  
Knockout locked his eyes with Starscream’s. .  
“Not necessarily,” he said, “I can help you. But you’re going to have to play by some of our rules first”.  
“Autobot rules? Ugh.”  
“Seriously Starscream. I’m sorry for all I did. But you have to understand. We must go on. We’re here for a reason, some fragged reason, and I don’t know how-”  
“Yes?”  
“I don’t know how to go one without-”  
“Without Breakdown. Your conjunx.”  
Silence.  
“No, well yes, but-”  
“Knockout,” Starscream whispered, “I’m not good. You know I’m not good. I have said and done horrible things to you. For that, I know I am pathetic. I am sorry.”  
“It’s fine. You aren’t going to change.”  
“No. I am truly sorry. Knockout I- I’ve never…”  
“Hmm?”  
Starscream sighed.  
“I’ve never- felt… this way. About anyone before.”  
Knockout’s spark froze.  
“What?”  
“I’ve never felt this way about anyone but you. And I’m sorry.”

For a moment, everything stop. Could this be true? Knockout could barely believe his audials. Starscream… had feelings. Real feelings. Not just an attraction, but an emotional pull. And despite everything, despite how much it hurt, Knockout knew he was sorry.

It would take awhile before things would be okay, but Knockout knew he was sorry, and that was all that mattered.

“Starscream…”

And so Knockout kissed him. And Starscream kissed back. And it was sweet, and it was long, and it was painful. But it was theirs. They were together now, and though they were broken, they knew that perhaps one day, after all this was over, they could be mended. 

“I didn’t mean half of what I did, you know. I’m going to kill Megatron I’m going to-”

“I know, I know. We’ll figure something out.”

“I’ll follow the silly Autobot’s rules, for now, just until-”

“Shh, I know. We’ll talk later just.... Shh...”

 

And in that moment of silent peace, they were both complete.


End file.
